Swim (Queerness is Blurry)

oh for six weeks to last a lifetime

a lifetime of estranged hellos and small-talk

admiration from afar and awkward conversations up close

a short-lived obsession, fueled by desire for something beyond

online exchange to one more physical

and although we’re together

the regret of my manifestation

crowds and suffocates the room

a series of events rise from still to a simmer

only to never boil

and to linger until the pot appears dry

and what is to come of all this?

a song she knows is written about her

or a single photo of his smile

both of which dissolve into a single entry, soon to be forgotten

a body who shapes a mind

and the minds of those tapping on the glass

provoking a response

only to withdraw, void of reflection

to try over and over again

refusing to accept that utopia is unattainable

new estranged hellos

new small talk

new admiration from afar

and new conversation up close

new short lived obsession

and new ended beginnings

as the desire for true warmth plagues my cold skin

i collapse

only to rise again tomorrow